A Reporter's Life


Missing legislators

My opinion of Texas just got a hefty boost, because anything that makes me laugh out loud gets points. The state's Department of Public Safety has issued a press release "asking the public for assistance in locating 53 Texas legislators who have disappeared." In other words, it's a type of Amber Alert for missing politicians.

The first two paragraphs of this CNN story add immensely to the humor value. But it gets better: In the eighth paragraph, a spokesman for the House Speaker says of the non-missing politicians: "The important thing is that they don't drive off to the hill country and have a picnic."

This sounds like a case for Encyclopedia Brown, the kid detective who solved mysteries in three to five pages' worth of children's books.

Posted by Layla at 2:04 PM, May 13, 2003

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This saga has got to be the best political story in a long time. Playing cards now feature the faces of the missing politicians. Remember my desire to own some of the Iraqi Most Wanted playing cards? My desire for some of these cards far outweighs my wish for Iraqi cards.

For photo fun, check out this guy.

The AWOL politicians are claiming that their families are being harassed, while the non-AWOL politicians say the AWOL politicians are holding policy sessions. If that were true, it would certainly be illegal, since the AWOL politicians aren't even in the state. Yes, that adds to the humor.

Meanwhile, U.S. House majority leader Tom DeLay, of Texas, has suggested that the FBI get involved in bringing back the wayward legislators. That article also reports that the non-wayward politicians have put together milk cartons with pictures of the politicians on them.

Posted by: Layla at 11:23 PM, May 13, 2003

Oklahoma's House of Representatives passed a resolution in support of the Texas politicians who have left Texas and are spending money in Oklahoma while holed up in a hotel. Also from that article:

"In a humorous moment, Rep. Ron Kirby, D-Lawton, read a proposal to grant Texas legislators political amnesty, welcome them to Oklahoma and grant them the honorary title of 'Okie.'

"The proposal also called for a Cub Scout troop to be dispatched to the Red River to protect Oklahoma's border from Texas Rangers."

Posted by: Layla at 9:33 AM, May 14, 2003

ROFL! This gets better and better!

By the way, I LOVED Encyclopedia Brown when I was a kid, and for soem reason, I've been thinking a lot lately about those stories. Remember the one with the bookkeeper? I wish I could remember how exactly it went...

Posted by: Monkeyman at 3:54 PM, May 14, 2003

The non-missing Texas politicians got so antsy, they managed to trick the federal Department of Homeland Security (the department that supposedly fights terrorism) into getting involved in the whole shenanigan.

But it was too late, because the deadline passed and the redistricting thing failed. That means the missing politicians are heading home.

Posted by: Layla at 10:46 PM, May 15, 2003

Those aren't real playing cards, as in real "professionally printed" playing cards. Those were printed using a computer printer and cut out, probably with scissors. A real deck would have rounded corners, a protective coating, and -- god willing competant layout artists -- equal borders around the edges. What you're seeing in that photo are probably the only seven cards printed up.

But I do like sending Cub Scouts to defend Oklahoma's borders.

Posted by: Thomas at 10:20 AM, May 16, 2003

The politicians are all back in Texas now (yes, that's old news), and word is that musician Willie Nelson sent them a case of whiskey while in Oklahoma.

For humor value, read this article: One of the politicians apparently scared a citizen in a public bathroom.

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