Crazy Cut Scenes

Michael: What I Learned To Do At The Petting Zoo


ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. MICHAEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Michael and Maria are on the couch, kissing heavily to an
amazing song that's playing a little too loudly. Maria is
facing up, eyes half closed.

MICHAEL
Maria...Maria...

MARIA
Michael...Michael...

Maria's eyes grow wide.

MARIA
Max!

MICHAEL
(confused)
What?

Maria pushes him off of her and they both discover Max, Liz,
Isabel, and Alex standing in the room. As Maria composes
herself, Michael reaches over to a CD that's glowing on the
table next to them. The minute he touches it, the loud music
and the glowing stop.

MICHAEL (CONT'D)
The CD player broke. Just something I
figured out how to...what the hell are
you guys doing here?

ISABEL
Sorry to interrupt the petting zoo, but
she's back.

MARIA
Who's back?

MAX
Topolsky.

The rest of the scene continues as aired.


The Pod Squad Takes Their Body Shots


EXT. WEST ROSWELL HIGH - LUNCH ATRIUM - DAY

Max and Liz sit together against the wall. She leans on him
as they read books and eat their lunches. After a beat, he
rests his cheek against her hair and kisses the top of her
head. It's a simple movement, yet their comfort and caring
for one another is so obvious. Especially to Maria, who sits
with Michael at one of the tables on the other side of the
atrium.

MICHAEL
You gonna eat that pickle?

MARIA
Is that all you can think of at a time
like this?

MICHAEL
Isn't it lunch time?

MARIA
Look at them. It's so...effortless for
them to be a couple. Even eating out of a
paper bag is romantic when they do it.

MICHAEL
Does it always have to be about them?

MARIA
It's just the obvious comparison.

MICHAEL
Isn't it enough that I like you and that
I'm actually sitting with you in a public
place and that we have hot...you know...

MARIA
(insulted)
Suddenly I feel very cold.

He gets the message, loud and clear, as we see Isabel sitting
alone in the distance at another table, looking at both of
the couples.

INT. WEST ROSWELL HIGH - DAY

Max is at his locker as Michael comes up, holding a book,
"What Women Want".

MICHAEL
So, is this what you've been using?

MAX
(laughing)
I told you, there's no handbook.

MICHAEL
Then who put this in my locker?

Max catches someone out of the corner of his eye. He looks
down the hall and sees Maria watching them, then quickly
ducking around a corner once she's been spotted.

MAX
You never know, maybe it's worth a look.

Meanwhile, in...

ANOTHER PART OF THE HALLWAY

...Alex and Liz are talking.

ALEX
This is bad. Really bad. I mean, before
it was just, you know, getting arrested.
Now we're on somebody's hit list.

LIZ
She didn't say hit list...

But she's just as scared as his is right now.

ALEX
Who else have you told?

LIZ
Just you.

ALEX
You told me before you told Max?

LIZ
(feeling him out)
You seemed to have a strong opinion about
this last night. Like we should trust
her.

ALEX
Is that what you think we should do?

LIZ
I don't know anymore, Alex. I'm so scared
for him. For all of them.

Maria comes up to them.

MARIA
You'll be happy to know that I'm taking
matters into my own hands.

LIZ
(misunderstanding)
None of us can do that right now, Maria.
I mean, we're all a part of this together
and any decisions we make should be
unanimous.

MARIA
(confused)
Since when do you get a vote in my
relationship?

LIZ
I thought you were talking about Topolsky.

MARIA
I thought we weren't supposed to talk
about that.

LIZ
Stay focused, Maria.

MARIA
I am. I've decided that if Michael and I
are going ahead with this thing, then
it's going to be on my terms.

She notices Alex looking more nervous than usual.

MARIA (CONT'D)
What's the matter with you?

Alex and Liz look at each other. Liz sees Max approaching.

LIZ
You tell her. I've got to tell Max.

Liz leaves Maria and Alex and greets Max who throws his arm
around her and kisses her for no good reason.

MAX
Do you know how many times I've dreamed
of doing that? Right here in the middle
of everything?

But he takes one look at her face and knows something's up.

MAX (CONT'D)
What's wrong?

LIZ
I saw her again. Last night.

Max pulls her aside, they talk quietly.

MAX
You met her?

LIZ
I thought I was meeting you.

Their dialogue continues as aired.

ANOTHER PART OF THE HALLWAY

...Isabel and Tess are pouring over a fashion magazine.

TESS
Oh, you'd look fabulous in that.

ISABEL
Not a chance. Last year's line.

TESS
(studying Isabel)
Have you ever thought of cornrowing your
hair?

ISABEL
How did you know I've always wanted to do
that?

TESS
(smiling)
I learned from this girl in Jamaica.

ISABEL
Is there any place you haven't been?

TESS
We try to avoid LA. Very shallow.

Alex comes up, still nervous over the Topolsky events.

ALEX
Isabel, I have to talk to you.

ISABEL
We're kind of in the middle of something.

Alex squirms under their gaze, but perserveres.

ALEX
I have to talk to you now. Privately.

He takes her by the arm as she protests.

ISABEL
Alex --

Tess watches as he leads her toward the Eraser Room.

ALEX
(quietly)
I'm sorry, it's important.

ISABEL
It better be.

Alex opens the door to the Eraser Room to reveal Max, Liz,
Michael and Maria all in there waiting, very serious. And
very cramped. Isabel is confused.

MICHAEL
Let's go someplace bigger.

INT. CRASHDOWN CAFE - CONTINUOUS

They go into the restaurant. Alex follows, upset.

ALEX
I thought we decided to lay low, you know,
with everything that's going on?

MARIA
Michael thought we should hide in plain
sight.

ALEX
Oh, I get it. Your boyfriends are calling
the shots now because neither of you want
to jeopardize you face-sucking privileges.

MARIA
And maybe you're just jealous because
you're not getting any.

Liz pulls them into the busing area.

LIZ
(whispering)
Don't let this happen. We've got to stick
together now.

ALEX
I'm not the one who voted against us.

MARIA
Fine, why don't you just run to Topolsky
and tell her everything. Where's that
going to get us?

ALEX
It might just keep us alive.

LIZ
Don't do anything crazy, Alex. We just
don't know...

Max, Michael and Isabel enter through the front door.

ALEX
Oh great, everyone's invited but me?

LIZ
I don't think Isabel's coming.

ALEX
Well maybe I can talk some sense into
her.

He crosses over to Isabel as Max and Michael greet Maria and
Liz. They are all dressed nicely, even Michael.

MAX
(to Liz)
Hi.

LIZ
Hi.

They kiss.

MICHAEL
(to Maria)
Hi.

MARIA
Hi.
(waiting)
I thought we were supposed to make this
look for real.

Michael realizes, then gives Maria a kiss, too.