LIZ
Oh my God, I forgot to tell you --
Grandma Claudia's coming on Friday Maria and Liz shriek with
delight.
MARIA
It's been like a year. It's like I've
been going throught withdrawal. I love
Grandman Claudia!
Scene continues as aired...
Those Overbearing Orthodontists
INT. CRASHDOWN CAFE - MINUTES LATER
Liz is finishing giving out the plates to a table of
ORTHODONTISTS.
She notices MAX enttering by himself, takes a seat.
LIZ
Okay, gentleman: I have one Venus
Mealoaf Platter, two Trekkie Specials
and Space Fries for the table.
ORTHODONTIST #1
Miss, my colleagues and I were just
appreciating your wonderful overbite.
LIZ
Oh, thank you. That's a first actually.
ORTHODONTIST #1
Natural? I mean, did you have to ware
braces?
LIZ
Braces? No.
Liz eyes, Max, who is overhearing this, smiling.
ORTHODONTIST #1
My God. Would you mind if we take a
look at your bite? For medical purposes.
LIZ
Sure.
...(Skipping part of this scene)...
MAX (CONT'D)
I'll just have an Alien Blast.
LIZ
(to herself)
Me too.
MAX
Excuse me?
LIZ
No, nothing. One Alien Blast. Vanilla
or chocolate...
As they continue talking/flirting we:
ANGLE ON ANOTHER TABLE WHERE
FOUR JOCKS members of the football team, eye this
encounter with Liz and Max:
TOMMY
(indicating Max)
He's the guy.
The four of them take a look at Max, who is cracking up, at
Liz showing her his teeth.
Anger on an Electrical Box
EXT. MICHAEL'S TRAILER - BACKYARD AREA - MOMENTS LATER
MICHAEL
I've seen them giving you those looks.
It was them, wasn't it?
MAX
It doesnt' matter who it was.
This answer confirms it for Michael. Michael punches the side
of the electrical box, denting it...
MICHAEL
I'm going to kill them.
Scene continues as aired...
Grandma Claudia Arrives
INT. CRASHDOWN CAFE - DAY
Close, between lunch and dinner. Liz combines ketchup bottles,
fills up salt and pepper shakers as JEFF PARKER does the books
at the table singing along a GRATEFUL DEAD song. Suddenly,
Liz looks up, surprised and delighted as CLAUDIA PARKER enters --
vibrant, sophisticated, approchable yet dignified, her bright
eyes and wide smile defy her advancing years. She carries a
suitcase with her.
...(Skipping part of this scene)...
LIZ
(emabarrased but
complimented)
Grandma... Let me help you upstairs
with your stuff.
CLAUDIA
Nonsense.
(to Jeff, handing him
the suitcase
Here, Jeffrey.
Jeff smiles, annoyed, as Claudia puts her arm around Liz, and
they head toward the back room.
CLAUDIA (CONT'D)
Okay, I've read all your letters over
and over, but now that I'm here I want
to hear everything in minutia...
As they walk through the swinging doors we:
CUT TO:
INT. CRASHDOWN CAFE - BACK ROOM - BACK STAIRS - SAME
CLAUDIA
We'll be down after Lizzie's caught me
up on all the boys who are head over
heels in love with her.
LIZ
(self-deprecating)
That should take like three seconds.
NANCY
Don't waste your time, she doesn't
talk about that stuff.
CUT TO:
INT. LIZ'S ROOM - LATER
LIZ
But what if it were complicated? Like
incredibly complicated.
CLAUDIA
Honey bear, I'm working with very little
information here. But I can tell you
one thing. If it isn't complicated, he
probably isn't a soulmate.
...(Skipping part of this scene)...
MARIA
-- Life form --
LIZ
-- type --
CLAUDIA
Sounds sexy. Dangerous man.
MARIA
Spacey man.
Scene continues as aired...
A Few Good Aliens
INT. UFO CENTER - DAY
Max looks up at her, we see Isabel's reaction, seeing her
brother like that.
ISABEL
Oh my God.
MAX
I just did't want you to see me like
this.
ISABEL
What happened.
...(Skipping part of this scene)...
MAX
They are friends of Kyle's. I think
Kyle must be upset about me and Liz.
ISABEL
Doesn't take a rocket scientist to see
that. And you were going to tell me
some story. Like I can't handle the
truth.
Scene continues as aired.
Men Are From Scream, Women Are From Europe
INT. VIDEO STORE - NIGHT
Kyle and Liz in the video store looking for videos.
KYLE
Okay, have you seen this? This is an
amazing movie.
LIZ
Kyle, this is a slasher movie.
KYLE
And...?
LIZ
Ooh, Elizabeth. This is supposed to be
great.
KYLE
Elizabeth! Okay, look, we clearly need
to find some common ground. English
accents give me a migraine. Except
Austin Powers.
LIZ
(finding another movie)
Oh my God, Wings of Desire.
KYLE
(looking at the box)
Subtitles? Not gonna happen, Liz.
LIZ
Kyle, this is the most amazing German
film. And Grandma Claudia will love
it.
KYLE
(appalled)
German? Grandman Claudia? What's
happening to movie night?
LIZ
Oh, yeah. My grandma came in a few
days early. So I thought she'd watch
with us.
(off his look)
Maybe.
(picking up Elizabeth)
Just in case we have time to watch
both.
Liz walks up toward the cashier with both movies, Kyle watches
concerned. Then he spots another video, grabs it and follows
Liz out of frame and we CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT
Doors burst open and Paramedics roll Claudia in on a gurney.
Liz, Kyle, Jeff and Nancy enter behind them.
LIZ
Oh my God --
KYLE
It'll be okay.
A DOCTOR appears, comes up to the PARAMEDICS.
DOCTOR
What do we got?
Scene continues as aired...
When Things Were Good
INT. VALENTI'S HOUSE - NIGHT
VALENTI
Kyle, is something bugging you?
KYLE
Huh?
VALENTI
I don't know, it seems like something's
been eating at you lately.
KYLE
Girl troubles. Nothing you'd understand.
VALENTI
Thanks for the vote of confidence. May
be you could try me.
Valenti picks up the remote and turns off the TV.
KYLE
Let me just ask you, with you and Mom,
back when things were good. You know,
if you can remember that far back. Did
you ever feel that you didn't know
what was going on with her? You know,
in her head?
VALENTI
What do you mean?
KYLE
Like she was just going through the
motions. Like there was something else
on her mind all the time.
Scene continues as aired...
Strife and Separation
INT. BOYS BATHROOM - DAY
Max enters. Frustrated, he smashes his hand into the side of
the stall, and the stall collapses. After a moment, a toilet
flushes and Michael emerges from the collapsed stall. Looks
at Max.
MICHAEL
Gandhi feeling frustrated?
MAX
Shut up.
MICHAEL
Let me guess. You're in love with a
girl and she's with another guy.
Max looks at him, and says nothing.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)
I'm glad we've had this chance to talk.
MAX
You realize you can be really annoying,
right?
MICHAEL
Max, something's happening to me. Check
this out.
Michael takes an abandoned cup of coffe that's sitting on the
windowsill. He puts his hand over it.
MICHAEL
Those guys beating the hell out of you
got me angry, and suddenly I'm able to
do all this stuff I never could do
before. It's like I'm you or something.
Michael turns the cup over. First dry ground coffee comes
out. Then sugar. Then he pours the rest out -- water.
MICHAEL
I can separate things.
Max looks at what Michael just did, amazed...
MAX
You're getting good, grasshopper.
MICHAEL
I've got something else that's gonna
cheer you up.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
MAX
What the hell are you doing?
MICHAEL
What am I doing?
MAX
What are you doing?
MICHAEL
I'm helping you out!
MAX
You're helping me out!?
MICHAEL
I'm helping you out!
MAX
No. You're not helping me out.
Scene continues as aired...
The Stress of Being Enemies
INT. LOUNGE AREA - CONTINUOUS
LIZ
Yeah. But it's different. I talked to
him before and he had this... tone.
Like I was his enemy or something.
God, I feel ill.
MARIA
Maybe you're just reading into it. You
know, with everything that's been going
on.
A Hero in Liz's Eyes
INT. HOSPITAL - WAITING AREA - NIGHT
LIZ
She (Claudia) is so incredible.
JEFF
She definitely knows how to get
attention.
LIZ
She wasn't getting attention. She was
standing up against injustice.
Jeff looks at Liz, sees in this moment, who Claudia is in her
eyes.
JEFF
Yeah, she was.
The "I" in Irrational
INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY - NIGHT
MARIA
Liz, I'm really, really glad that you're
being irrational. Because what's
happening now is hard. It's really
hard. I mean, I don't know what I would
do...
LIZ
Right.
They've arrived at Maria's car.
MARIA
Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
LIZ
It's okay. Thanks, Maria.
MARIA
I love you.
LIZ
Yeah, me too.
They hug.
LIZ (CONT'D)
So how'd it go at the cafe tonight?
MARIA
Smooth as silk. Call if you need me.
Liz and Claudia Say Good Bye - (Extended Dialogue)
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - LATER
LIZ
Grandma. I guess that thing I want to
say more than anything to you is just
how much you mean to me. That you've
shown me that life is this adventure,
you know? You've made me feel that I
can do anything. That my life can be
anything I want it to be. And somehow
you've always made me feel like I was
special. And I just don't know what
I'm going to do without you.
CLAUDIA
I think you'll do just fine
(beat)
And there's something I've been wanting
you to know, Liz. When I look at you,
so excited about life. So many
possiblities. So many wonderful question
marks. When I look at you, I see myself.
And I want you to know that that's a
gift, Liz. That's a gift. I'm taking
with me. That I'll always treasure.
Alternate Ending Outside the E.R.
EXT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
THE MUSIC CONTINUES. Max sits hunched over in front of the
huge neon EMERGENCY sign, weakened. Liz emerges from the
hospital. She goes to Max. She sits down next to him. After a
moment, she just leans in, putting both of her arms around
him, hugging him from behind his back. Holding him tight. As
the MUSIC CONTINUES we hear: ...